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The real reason the Olympics dropped wrestling

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The real reason the Olympics dropped wrestling

Postby crosscreekcooter » Mon Feb 25, 2013 5:36 pm

http://www.simcoe.com/opinion-story/2079947-the-real-reason-the-olympics-dropped-wrestling/
The real reason the Olympics dropped wrestling
ORILLIA – With the recent shock and dismay that followed a controversial decision to drop wrestling from the 2020 Olympics, it was even more startling that nobody was addressing the REAL reason behind the troubles facing this otherwise well-regarded sport.

I speak, of course, of the armpit factor.

As anyone who ever took gym in high school understands, there is a very good chance a wrestling match will – suddenly and without warning – end with your nose being buried deep in an opponent’s armpit.

Do not panic: you will survive this so long as your opponent has adhered to a daily regimen of showering, regular applications of deodorant, and doesn’t store his gym shirt in the moldy duffle bag that just fled the change room on its own.

I would never want to suggest that any wrestling-related experiences may have happened during my time in high school, leaving me with an unhealthy fear of the human underarm.

I’m only saying the transformation from regular, everyday high school student to gym-class wrestler was jarring for those of us who were athletically challenged and/or had the muscular structure of overcooked spaghetti.

One moment, you were talking music with your best friend in the hall, and the next, the two of you were grappling on the gymnasium floor like a couple of cave dwellers fighting over the last piece of roasted goat.

For evidence of this phenomenon, here is an actual conversation that happened between two students at an area high school in 1984, moments before gym class.

Student 1: “Did you hear Van Halen’s new album? It’s totally awesome.”

Student 2: “Yeah. Totally.”

(Bell rings)

Student 1: “Well, I guess I’ll see you in gym. I hear it’s wrestling today.”

Student 2: “I look forward to trapping your nose in my underarm.”

Warning: depending on the opponent’s size/weight/general hygiene, his armpit environment will range from mildly gamey to “resembling an expensive cheese aged behind a radiator.”

Naturally, this led me to wonder, is armpit-related trauma really worth it, even for an Olympic medal?

This led to a more important question: is the standard face-to-armpit confrontation – the threat of which is enough to force a truce between warring nations – any worse than wrestling’s other, near-fatal move, the dreaded Hairy Thigh in the Face?

Truly, you have never had a better reason to subject yourself to a power washer than when an opponent’s hairy leg makes contact with your: A) eyes (ewww) B) nose (ewwww) or C) lips (Armageddon).

It is worth stating at this juncture that the humble armpit is a severely underrated body part with many useful attributes, such as the ability to emit rude noises by cupping it with one hand while flapping your arm like an injured duck.

In fact, I hear the International Olympic Committee is considering including that as a sport in 2020.

It sure beats a hairy thigh in the face.
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Re: The real reason the Olympics dropped wrestling

Postby rogdochar » Mon Feb 25, 2013 5:44 pm

Needn't drop the whole sport, just outlaw that hold : full smellsome .
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Re: The real reason the Olympics dropped wrestling

Postby WobbleGator » Tue Feb 26, 2013 11:13 am

:lol:
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Re: The real reason the Olympics dropped wrestling

Postby MatthewM. » Tue Feb 26, 2013 6:42 pm

Tldr
PigsEyeGator wrote:Right now I am so f'ing low that I would do MatthewM.
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Re: The real reason the Olympics dropped wrestling

Postby law98gator » Tue Feb 26, 2013 10:04 pm

He's lying and fapping at the moment.
ufgator812. wrote:Fvck them all. Fvck Richt, Herschel, Will Muschamp, Larry Munson, Deborah Norville, Lindsey Scott (fvck him twice), Vince Dooley (and all of his family, friends and neighbors), R.E.M and the B-52's... Yes, Fvck them all.
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Re: The real reason the Olympics dropped wrestling

Postby willgetin » Wed Feb 27, 2013 11:59 am

I think this article is not correct.

However, I have found one that is more likely...

http://www.sportspickle.com/opinion/15461/8-possible-reasons-the-olympics-dropped-wrestling

A little preview of what you might see if you click the link...

Image
Alv: We have no excuses for this humiliating loss. We have only ourselves to blame. Tennessee most definitely deserved to lose.
Alv: You do realize your signature bums me out more than any other Jort rabble on the GSMB...Any chance you would...remove it?
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Re: The real reason the Olympics dropped wrestling

Postby rogdochar » Wed Feb 27, 2013 1:29 pm

So they're dropping it was anything butt dirty. ? :?
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Re: The real reason the Olympics dropped wrestling

Postby Swamp82 » Thu Feb 28, 2013 11:43 am

I personally never got it, I just think its wrong that two guys get sweaty and then flop all over each other like that. Maybe they could get a guest shot on that Will and Grace show. Just saying
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Re: The real reason the Olympics dropped wrestling

Postby WobbleGator » Thu Feb 28, 2013 12:22 pm

Swamp82 wrote:I personally never got it, I just think its wrong that two guys get sweaty and then flop all over each other like that. Maybe they could get a guest shot on that Will and Grace show. Just saying


GatorKen will not be happy about this.
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